Official cheer

The inconclusive conclusion

2009-03-17T20:00:00.002+01:00

Weelll I thought about it you know. What my last post would be about, the piazzas, pizzas and people it would portray, what delights would be described and what lows listed. But life got in the way of creative writing and turned it into dull boring writing so I put it off indefinately. I thought I would write when I had something exciting to report but then again, I had to wait for something interesting to happen.

And then you know, I started to date the guitarist in the band(s), went to a lot of aperetivos and had drinks with all my lovely new-found friends, spent a couple of days networking at work, was under the impression that I was going to go to Sudan, had said field assignment cancelled, was recommended for a new job at Rome HQ, flew back to Sweden and had forty cups of excellent tea, met my darling friends, had a telephone interview and was informed that if everything goes according to plan I'll be back in Rome in a couple of weeks, this time with a job.

How's that for an interesting report?

So ragazzi, boys and girls, relatives and friends, it seems that this chapter on Rome is far from finished. The same can't be said for this blog though, and now it is time to say arrividerci. Thanks for listening!

All the best,
/D

It's like, really nice

2009-03-02T10:31:00.002+01:00

Saturday was gorgeous and without a cloud in the sky. The sun was shining, birds yelling, children playing, old folks smiling and holding hands.. And I was severely hung over. I got up had a walk around Garbatella, squinting in the sunlight while talking about architecture on an empty stomach. Went home, fell asleep again, was rudely awakened by a phone call from my dear mother (I lied and said I was outside, sorry Mum!) and then threw my sorry self into the busy chaos that is Rome on a sunny Saturday.

In short I had a great weekend and I am STILL dog tired!

Friday night tired

2009-02-27T18:57:00.003+01:00

Tired as a dag, dog tired. Really tired. And I haven't even left work yet. And now it's aperetivos and bars and beers and maybe dancing before home to my sweet bed.

I have one week left at work and people are starting to give me pitying glances because I'm leaving without any immediate prospects of an immediately promising career. I could do with sympathy yes but the pity I'd rather do without!

Oh well va bene.. I'm looking forward to sleeping late tomorrow. Ciao ragazzi!

The senses

2009-02-25T16:19:00.002+01:00

In these overly cerebral intellectual times there is something to be said on focusing on the experiences relayed by the senses. What you can see, hear, smell, touch and taste can have a profound effect on your perception of the world, and can transform a despondent mood into a hopeful one.

What I’m looking forward to hear:
The Swedish language
My mother talking to me from another room
Seagulls in Gothenburg
My mobile phone beeping with text messages
The radio

What and who I’m looking forward to see:
Friends!
My mother
Swedish TV
Newspapers
Gothenburg
Clean streets
Frost
Cafés
My books
My CDs
My flat
My oven

… to taste:
Sweets
Bad coffee
Cinnamon rolls
Potatoes
Sushi
Indian food
Sandwiches
Good bread
Beer
Semlor

… to smell:
Clean air
Sea breeze
My mum’s cardamon cake, freshly made (hint hint)

… to touch:
My things
The hands of my friends

I was, after a random inquiry on my part today, informed that my unit here at work cannot offer me a consultancy at the end of my internship. So, unless something were to appear as if by magic, it seems that I'm going home in about two weeks. It's disheartening news, not because I don't want to go home, but because now I have to deal with a lot of immediate problems, mainly in the shape of bills. It would have been nice, no great, to have a job here at WFP. But we'll see.

Can't write more now, got to rehearse some songs for tonight's jamming session.
Ciao

Band camp

2009-02-23T18:18:00.002+01:00

Practicing with my supervisor's band tonight. Practicing with the other, secret band on Wednesday. I love it - finally something creative and fun!

Last weekend was full of exercise and culture as I walked in Villa Borghese and down Via Appia Antica (the Regina Viarium if case you wonderered). Two days of blazing sunlight isn't to be poo poo'ed! The evening's I spent exhausted in front of Jane Austen's Persuasion, Emma, Mansfield Park, Northanger Abbey and the film Becoming Jane (about and not by Ms Austen). I know speak with a silly inflection and say things like "indeed Mr So and so..". All in all a terrific weekend.

Gotta go, ciao!

Boys boys boys

2009-02-20T13:39:00.002+01:00

Email exchange between myself (i.e. D), S and M. Please note the fantastically sarcastic use of UN discourse and jargon in our emails!

D: [The lunch with G]... was a big massive bore. Talked about work. He got called away on business. Ended up hanging out with V - not really the reason I ironed my blouse this morning..

There you go - the extent of my romantic life
--
S: ...well, could also be that he is talking about work to impress you...he is quite successful within his domain you know...
--

D: Urgent reminder to Ms Joumal

-- -- - - - pls stop encouraging the kamikaze-like thoughts and romantic notions in Ms Bresky's head. G is either
a) gay
b) not interested
c) all of the above

and D needs to stop this wishful thinking and join an online dating agency or something like it.
--

S: Dear Ms Bresky, pls see further clarification below.

The purpose is not to encourage you to feel, do, or think anything...Guys are not always super confident, and as far as I know, he is quite shy. So, there could be alternative explanations to those on your list.

Nonetheless, no matter where he stands, join one of those sites...increase your pool of options!! :)

Ciao bella
--

D: Dear HQ reviewer Ms Joumal,

I thank you for your input. However, there are still matters of concern that require your immediate action.

i) Pls refrain from reminding me about guys in general.
ii) Pls recommend a dating site.
iii)Pls do not reflect upon the apparent lack of logic of (i) and (ii)
--

S: Dear D,

I am afraid I won't be able to provide input requested under ii) as you already know, the extent of MY romantic life is even more limited than yours...
--

D: so let's join a dating site AND a support group together ;)
--

M: Dear S and D,

Please excuse the absence from my email limiting my apparent concern for these matters.

Point 1: Wake up you two! Boys are silly, stupid, ill informed and blind. (in no order and not mutually excluding other adjectives)

i. So D - keep working it. G may/may not comprehend the good things coming his way... but either/or refer to point 1.
ii. D and S - you two do not need internet dating to spice things up... next weekend lets go find nice boys (or fun ones who do not work for the UN) but don't get all excited remember point 1.
iii. And if 'support group' is code for friends eating, drinking, dancing, hanging out, having fun and being there for each other... sign me up too.

love you lovely ladies..

Dear Auntie

2009-02-18T14:02:00.003+01:00

Thank you for your concern! Yes I haven't written in a while and that's due to a toxic combination of increased workload, facebook, sunshine and a general lack of creativity. Last week at work was all about sappy Valentine's Day nonsense and last weekend I was stood up by a guy I kind of fancied so I wasn't in a jolly mood.

This day finds me grinning in front of my computer, thanks to silly Swedish songs on Youtube!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1wBddJgqKE&feature=related

Cheers

Que sera sera

2009-02-13T14:57:00.003+01:00

It's been an absurd day. But entertaining. The head of the World Bank was at WFP today, and his presence sparked a tonne of silly emails flying around the place, mainly about us throwing shoes at him. And then I had a meeting with The Boss, about my imminent future here. I'm microscopically hopeful. And to top it off the sun came out, and while basking in the warmth and the light after lunch I was approached by a guy who suggested drinks after work. It's the guy I have a crush on! Of course it's not going to be just me and him, and of course I really don't think he's straight, and of course he might just blow me off but hey, I haven't given up hope just yet.

So I'm good. How about you?

timewasters inc.

2009-02-11T14:31:00.002+01:00

Abandon hope of doing any work at all, all ye Facebook members! Today I joined that blasted community and sweet baby Jesus (or dolce bambino Jesú as the Italians say) I find myself completely sucked in. I haven't done a lick of work today and it's just getting worse.

Maybe you expect a long explanation/diatribe about when and how I changed my mind vis-à-vis Facebook but to tell you the truth I don't have the time for it since social networking has made me lag behind in my work. Gotta a motherload of reports to read, see ya (preferably not on Facebook, please!).

Explicit content

2009-02-11T09:59:00.002+01:00

Finally my computer is up and running again. The temporary solution to my longterm problem was apparently to move desk - to take my laptop and sit somewhere else in the office. The "somewhere else" turned out to be my former boss' desk so now I enjoy a window view ladies and gentlemen! The technician who set this up yesterday just wandered into our part of cubicle heaven and I, seeing the answer to my woe, launched myself at him and wouldn't let him go without fixing my computer troubles first. He swore a lot, but he pulled us through. Apparently all the ingeniousness the Italians don't spend on say, fixing the debilitated infrastructure or the corrupt politics, they use for swearing.They talk about bodyparts and fornication habits which seem to include not only relatives, but dead relatives. It was fun to watch all the native Italians in the office wince at torrent of words all brought forth by in "internal error or incorrect ipconfig" or whatever.

Work is OK. I've started the mental count-down to the end of my internship; can't really tell whether I'm looking forward to the end or not..

Ciao people

Mostly cloudy

2009-02-10T13:06:00.003+01:00

dammit it's one of those days when I let everything get to me - the cancelled band practice, the stupid malfunctioning computer, the gray rain clouds and the uselessness of trying to get a job in the building.

it's a shame that I almost always write when something's wrong and not vice versa, cause it gives a crappy impression of my life here abroad and it also just makes me sink deeper into a bog of self-pity and whiny complaint.

well.

That's the spirit (not!)

2009-02-05T10:57:00.003+01:00

The title to this post is my middle sister's reaction to a dispirited email I sent to her this morning. It's a long story; and it involves a meeting with the Chief of the Climate Change unit in Policy here at the agency; my hopes and fears for the future; my inherent pessimism and cowardice when daring to dream.
The meeting went as well as to be expected when an intern out of the blue meets a busy important chief to beg for a job. I mean, he was polite. I really want to join his team. He said he'd let me know, and that in the meantime I should apply for JPO - a Junior Professional Officer, i.e. someone sent from a donor country, paid by that donor country (cheap labour for the agency, expensive for Sweden). The JPO prospect doesn't seem that appealing and naturally I just assume that I'm too underqualified for it(you know what they say about 'assume' - it makes an ass of u and me..).
He wasn't sure he had room for anyone else on his team but he would keep my resume on hand just in case.

I can't expect anything more so ... I can't think of anyway to finish that sentence, I'm too tired.
Ciao people

In a good mood, happy, content

2009-02-03T15:38:00.001+01:00

It’s raining outside and I am at my desk, reading through a hundred thousand identical reports. The work becomes bearable because I’m in a good mood; listening to Beatles’ Blackbird and humming to myself.
The drummer in my supervisor’s band just surreptitiously contacted me and asked if I wanted to sing in another band too. They’re just a bunch of happy amateurs but guess what, so am I, and right now the emphasis is on the word ‘happy’. At this moment I’m wondering how I am going belt out Nobody’s wife by Anouk (the band’s choice, not mine) and still keep my trademark cool (it's an awful song, really).

I’m also happy because I spent a good weekend with M; and to top it off yesterday a package from my sister A arrived at work, filled with Jane Austen DVDs! Since I have no computer able to play them I am for now content with just reading the blurbs and reviews on the back of them.

M in Rome

2009-02-02T09:44:00.003+01:00

My friend M is more than occasionally a wonder of efficiency and energy - but last weekend saw her bedridden and slower than usual. Due to an infection on her part we met half-way, energetically speaking. We ate, walked, talked, slept and generally tried to solve life's agonies over a pizza slice or three. Nice!

Starting Monday morning with rejection

2009-02-02T09:30:00.002+01:00

"Dear Ms.Blablabla,

Thank you for completing the UNV application. Based on the information you have provided and the current demand for volunteer services, it is unlikely that we will be able to offer you a UN Volunteer assignment in the near future. We will, however, keep your information for at least six months in case there is a change in opportunities."

Applying for jobs on the net is a simple, straight-forward task. Too bad that the rejection is immediate too. Didn't they even want to consider me?

And M is coming to Rome tonight!

2009-01-29T16:09:00.004+01:00

It's beautiful
outside
the smokers
on their coffee break
revel in the sunshine
business
is tedious
but I'm deliriously happy
did I mention
It's beautiful
outside?

Applying myself

2009-01-27T13:29:00.003+01:00

I'm writing a application letter to show my eagerness to work at the Nordic Council of Ministers. I hate writing those things, which is ironic since I'm morbidly interested in rhetoric which is all about presentation of self. I loathe the whole exercise because it all seems like a blatant lie: I don't know what I want to do, be, make, attain - so how could I communicate the false assertiveness and drive that these letters seem to demand? By carefully tailoring the truth, that's how.

Oh yes I've always wanted to work for you ever since I heard about you last Tuesday.

Coming clean

2009-01-23T14:00:00.007+01:00

I’m in denial. I repeat the same pattern over and over and it wasn’t funny the first time and it’s definitely not funny now.

I’m in denial. I repeat the same pattern over and over and it wasn’t funny the first time and it’s definitely not funny now. See this is what I do. I scrimp and I save and I get by on lentils and quiet evenings at home; I fade out of the going-out-for-drinks-crowd and I tell myself that it’s healthy and fun to live on a tiny budget.

Then I snap and consequently go bananas. I don’t indulge in what would be characterized as a shopping spree by, say, someone with a salary and a penny saved for a rainy day, but still I hit the town. This week I hit that point and suddenly I found myself outside of Zara’s with a new jacket. Two days later I find myself going out with friends from work, enjoying a delicious aperetivo (buffet food with a drink), going to a concert and subsequently sharing a cab home. I think I spent what pitiful funds I managed to save while being in my spartan pre-denial phase. Damn!

But it was fun. The concert (Jamie Lidell, a British artist who plays really cool soul funky music) was good but the atmosphere was even better. I laughed myself silly at the stupid jokes told by my Swedish colleagues and the Great Dane (the new intern), shouted ‘get a room!’ with everyone else at the amorous and lip-locked couple in front, sang along and danced to the music.

So what is more important? The immediate gratification that comes from buying new clothes, the buzz that comes from shared beers and jokes with colleagues who become your friends – or abiding the feasible-but-strict budget that sees you through to tomorrow??

I don’t want to know, and don’t want to think about it. As I said, I’m in denial. Right now I am carefully reading the Guardian’s list of 1000 sci-fi and fantasy books everyone must read. It’s just as well I can’t buy stuff online at work, otherwise I would’ve bought 498 of the books by now. Nothing complements denial like a sci-fi classic as a gift to oneself!

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2009/jan/22/1000-novels-fiction-fantasy-introduction

Enjoy, and have a good weekend!

Random

2009-01-19T16:00:00.004+01:00

Just some random thoughts from your Rome correspondent...

My head is buzzing from too much caffeine and too much talking on my part. My phone still isn't fixed and my trust in my oh so Swedish ergo reliable phone company has been shaken. Can't they just provide me with a code so I can unlock my phone?

I had a nice but kind of slow weekend. I bumped into a guy from work. I have a crush on him. He sends out mixed signals. He makes me confused. After I met him I ran into Zara and almost bought a beautiful jacket, just as a pick-me-up (I think I tried to transfer the crush on the guy to an inanimate object). I didn't have the cash for it so in the end I walked from the store empty-handed. Poor me, without man nor jacket (on sale, reduced to 49 Euro - the jacket, not the guy).

Things are slowly picking up at work but modern technology and I ca fait deux so when I need to do simple things (like opening an excel sheet) my computer puts up a struggle. So far it's winning.

The new intern is orphaned, no one in the upper echelons has the time for him. I have taken it upon myself to show him the ropes because a) let's be honest here, I'm not exactly swamped with work and b) he's so cute - he's practically the bees' knees.

Yesterday my flatmate woke me up with the announcement that we had no water. I got dressed, looked up the Italian words for 'Do you have water in your tap Madam?', and preceded to knock on our neighbours' doors. It turned out that the work carried out in the street had cut us off so no one in the building had water.. They solved it surprisingly fast though. Weird day.

Later on in the evening my flatmate L Skyped with her family intensely. Her middle daughter had walked out and disappeared after a row with her dad so they were all worried, especially my flatmate since she's on the other side of the world basically. They found the daughter in the end and now all is well but I could see how hard the whole thing was for L. It was a maudlin' evening. When I see how much my flatmate cares for her children I miss my mother! Really, some unconditional motherly love is what I could use right now. And an updated version of Excel but let's not be greedy here.

Happy weekend

2009-01-16T16:48:00.003+01:00

My cell phone has locked itself (noone can call me) but I'm thankful because it's Friday.
We have a new intern at work. I have a new intern at work!

Ciao ragazzi!

Can't stop joking

2009-01-15T17:43:00.003+01:00

So today (don't I always start these rantings with "so today"?) I talked to the new boss of our unit, the new matron of this happy little family of reporting officers. She's American. She's nice. She's got a lot of influence. She laughs a lot, and I know that because I can't seem to stop joking when I'm around her. I do that when I'm around many people here. I do it when I'm nervous. Or bored. Or understimulated. Or happy. Or c) all of the above.And I'm not sure whether that makes a good impression or not. My guess would be no. On the other hand, I'm quite good at it (though not as sharp as my middle sister) and I don't hink I appear nervous or self-deprecating while doing it. I do succeed in making people laugh. It's a nice quality but I don't think it's an express lane to any future prospects in the serious corporate world. Anyway, our short meeting was nice but a bit bewildering. Maybe I could have hinted GIVE ME A JOB I NEED THE BLOODY INCOME a bit more but hey that's still not my forte.

Tonight I'm providing vocals again for my old supervisor and his band (a fellow colleague who is also in the band try to name the band "The Squeaky Wheels" - I love it, the others don't); that's my forte!

Melancholy oyster girl

2009-01-13T09:33:00.005+01:00

Uurgh. Having a melancholy day already and I've haven't even been awake for 3 hours yet.. That's the price I pay for skipping breakfast? No that's a lousy theory.

Things are going to pick up at work, this is the "calm before the storm" as my old boss puts it. The storm is set to begin really soon, within the week. Ironically, being so close to the finish line (the busy times at work), I am now in the mood to bugger it all and just go home to Sweden. As you can tell I am having a "square peg round hole" kind of day today. I think it started when walking from the train to the office this morning. A workmate asked me what I wanted to do once my internship is over. I had really no clue what to answer but as that doesn't fly very well in this kind of place I had to say something so I blathered on about me wanting to work with, uh, environmental issues. "Governmental or NGO-approach?" was the follow-up question. "Uuuh.. I want to work with the environment.. but not hug trees.. ". Not a stellar response.

So why am I letting this get to me today then? I've known for quite some time that I don't have any clear career goals besides being able to pay back my massive debts and loans. I have also known for quite some time that I'm not overly ambitious, and that I don't care about getting a bigger piece of the pie. In fact I sometimes despise the zero-sum division of the pie. I don't even care for pie. My point is that I know all this - and still it can ruin my Tuseday mood? Well maybe it's got to do with the weather. Maybe I miss my mother's cooking. Maybe I can't handle idleness as well as I thought I could. Perhaps I was cut out for something more creative than this. Possibly I need to eat more for breakfast.

I'm not being very productive here.

S.O.S

2009-01-09T11:26:00.002+01:00

My computer is like, totally dead. I'm writing this at work from the internet cafe that I had forgotten existed. This office is great man, it has its own post office, two banks,an internet cafe, a cafeteria and a coffee bar, one formal and one informal library, a newsstand, a tailor and a doctor. NOW ONLY IF IT COULD HAVE SOM FRICKING IT SERVICE!!!!!

What's more is that it's quite embarrassing to be shut out from your computer and therefore your duties.. and no one notices. Incentive to go to work any one?

Well. Have a good weekend everyone. I know I'm going to, I've just borrowed a cheesy romance novel and Kafka's Metamorphosis - interesting mix for an interesting person like me.

Ciao!

I envy that.

2009-01-06T10:54:00.008+01:00

I talked to my Swedish colleague S yesterday, asking her about her holiday back home. Her description mirrored my own experience of holidays and traditions in general. Her family is Muslim so they don't really celebrate Christmas, but they've also stopped celebrating the Eid Al Fatr so the end result is that they don't really do, or in if you take it one step further, believe in anything at all (as in, believing in something thus upholding or recognizing it) this time of year. It's the same with me. Christmas is not really relevant anymore, but Chanukka isn't observed by me or my family either - so you end up with little ado about nothing. And this at a time when everyone else, Protestant, Catholic or you name it, is going holiday bananas.

And it keeps on in a similar vain - Pesach, Easter, Midsummer... I don't make a fuss about anything, which is weird in a way. Is it the same thing as nothing is important? Now I'm not saying that just because regular secularised yet Protestant Swedes (as an example) deck the halls with bows of holly they also believe in the birth of Christ, or that it's even related to Him. You can celebrate Christmas in a eating-and-shopping way that is quite detached from religion these days (less true in Italy though). The point I'm trying to make here is that that religiously detached consumerist stuff-yourself-with-stuffing-holiday is celebrated with religious fervor by most people, thus giving them something to uphold and look forward to, something that is kinda sacred and important.

Christmas/Chanukka/Eid/Kwanzaa is still the opportunity to meet up with your family and eat and be merry so I'm not complaining. I miss the weight of traditions, that's all.

Smelly New Year

2009-01-05T10:32:00.002+01:00

It's unimaginative to start 2009's blogging with a link to what someone else wrote but I think this man is very funny. He is a columnist at the Guardian and he writes about what we can expect from 2009:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/jan/05/ch

My flatmate L ventured in to the kitchen yesterday evening, heated some oil in a saucepan and added rice, and then apparently forgot all about it and went in to her room. The smoke coming out of that kitchen! The state of the saucepan! My clothes hanging out to dry in the living room!

Smelly.

Capodanno (head of the year)

2008-12-31T09:25:00.007+01:00

AS DAYS GO IN ITALY this is by far the most quiet one. No one is out on the streets and the office is barely half full. I got a lift from a friend to work this morning and we drove through beautiful yet deserted areas and suburbs to get here. I couldn't quite shake the notion that someone had dropped the bomb over Rome and forgot to tell us about it. At the office people are biding their time, waiting for the announcement that we can go home early (on Christmas eve people were sent home at two so we're keeping our fingers crossed for the same deal today). Not much to tell really.

I've been here for over three months now and it's sufficient to say that I'm a bit.. disenchanted by the whole experience by now. I still like Rome, I still like the culture (even though there is plenty of room for improvement in several areas) but my duties at work are something else. Living here stresses me because I know/delude myself into thinking that I could right now be somewhere else, pursuing other options (i.e. Getting A Real Job Earning Money) and having an easier time while doing it.

Sorry, don't mean to end the year on such a down note. I still have a lot to look forward to, and as you all know (I have been repeating it many times now with increasing fervour) things are going to pick up at work, thus making me a less of a dull boy.

I conclude by saying that I am very very very grateful for my family and friends, both new and old ones. Thank you mum, A and I for visiting me, thanks to C and S for showing up and treating me to nice food, thank you L for being in Rome right now (you're probably still sleeping in my bed you lazy..). Thank you E, V and M for your planned visits in early spring. Dad, A and S - I look forward to your visit!

Love you all and Happy New Year!

It's freezing!

2008-12-29T10:57:00.012+01:00

It's freezing outside!

Last week mi madre and mia sorelle (my mum and sisters) visited me here in Rome for what turned out to be a camping trip a la Italy. We walked around the town and saw Piazza Navona, the Pantheon, Capitoleum, Via del Corso, Fontana di Trevi, Piazza Spagna (the Spanish steps for you Anglophones), Piazza del Popolo, the Jewish Ghetto, Ostiense, Garbatella, plus miscellaneous streets. Don't let all the culture fool you, it was still a camping trip due to the outdoor temperature everywhere.

It's freezing indoors!

At my place we did what we do best at Christmas, which is eating Chinese food, eating Italian food, eating other foods, reading and drinking tea, loafing about, and talking. It was really nice.

It's freezing in the office!

My co-worker is wearing his jacket in front of his computer.
Back at work and there is still nothing much to do except to update myself on office gossip. It's a dirty job but someone has to do it..

Official Cheer goes Seasonal Cheer

2008-12-19T16:55:00.000+01:00

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year everyone!

So many accomplishments to cheer for

2008-12-18T10:30:00.004+01:00

My sisters have both passed their driver's test and are now proud owners of a driver's licence!

And on a smaller scale (but still important in my microcosmos): I plucked up the courage to ask my boss for a meeting to discuss my work plan and my future after the fellowship ends. He told me that he would recommend that I stay on as an consultant in the unit, budget permitting. Praise indeed! But all that lies ahead, in the far distant future in March. Until then it's up to me to work hard and keep my eye on the proverbial ball... The boss of the unit is also my new supervisor since Boss man Bing (my old supervisor) left. It's a bit intimidating but very good because it makes me less prone to goofyness when I know a serious Canadian is looking over my shoulder.

I'm very excited that my momma and sisters are coming next week! I'm praying with all my might for nice weather (that is, no rain).

It's all too dumb to be untrue

2008-12-12T16:28:00.007+01:00

Hello there again, this is your despondent Rome correspondent with a weather update.

So far this week we've had two great thunder storms (Wednesday night and Thursday morning) and heavy showers that have left the city paralysed and flooded. Yesterday traffic stood still in many places and as usual no one arrived on time anywhere in the whole nation. UN staff were sent home early yesterday due to heavily congested roads, and were for the same reason given permission to arrive late for work this morning. Today the downpour continued and soon UN staff were reached by the news that Rome's river was overflowing, thus flooding lower parts of the city and accompanying countryside. People were sent home early. WFP HQ is not flooded or at risk, as of yet. Non-UN Italians were told not to bother showing up at work today at all. The general transport strike for today was cancelled due to the fact that nothing was working anyway.

I swear I'm no making this stuff up!
Ciao

Friends, Romans, Colleagues

2008-12-10T13:38:00.002+01:00

I love my colleagues. Just when I think that my cold will get the better of me the help from the people around me at work gets me through the day. Despite my head and sinuses giving me grief I still remain in good spirits. At lunch today I learnt how to download books, where I can find the recipe for crystal meth and the latest events in corrupt Chicago politics. Riveting!

Excerpt from "User Reference Manual" on my desk

2008-12-09T16:40:00.007+01:00

The Standard Project Report (SPR) is the principal means through which WFP informs its donors how resources for a given project were used and what results were obtained during during the reporting year. SPRs are prepared for all WFP activities (with the exception of bilateral projects), namely development, protracted relief and recovery, emergency and special operations. As a project report, rather than contribution-specific report, the document lays out the objectives of the project, the mode of implementation, the resources used for implementation and the results obtained by the project. The SPR also serves as an advocacy tool highlighting the success and challenges of WFP's operations. It is also a repository for key project data and thereby helps to maintain institutional memory.

This is what I'm going to be busy with, soon. I can hardly wait - I'm quite fed up with doing nooothing.

News

2008-12-09T10:52:00.003+01:00

I woke up with a cold today and I blame the snaps. When I tried to leave home I realized that my flatmate had locked the door in some diabolical fashion from the outside - it took me 10 minutes to open the frigging door!! And the printers at work don't function properly and did I mention that my nose is running?

But all is good in the world despite immune systems under attack and unintentional incarcerations: L just confirmed that she's coming to Rome over New Year's, M just confirmed that she's coming to see me come end of January; yesterday I went to a pub quiz and I did not too shabby if I may say so myself (at least I wasn't kicked off the team)!

Ciao tuttti

Don't mind the spelling

2008-12-08T10:19:00.003+01:00

I'm not sure what the correct spelling is- schnapps? schnaps? shnapps? Anyway, in Swedish it's snaps and that's the word I'll use in this blog. Why am I ranting on about snaps you ask? Well, my supervisor had a dinner last Friday for the staff in my unit to celebrate that the Blue Book was done on time and to say goodbye since he's moving to another department. The dinner consisted of massive amounts of Danish Christmas food and of course, snaps. And ooohhh myyy, drinking snaps is like asking for a kick in the head. It took me a sober weekend and basically 48 hours to get rid of the hangover, thanks!

The day after the party my flatmate moved in around ten in the morning. Needless to say I opened the door wrapped in a blanket, bleary-eyed and definitely under the weather. I had warned her though that I would be in a bad shape so I didn't make such a bad first impression as a roomie as you might think. At least, I hope not.

For those already moody you can skip this one

2008-12-04T11:47:00.003+01:00

Oh oh. It's one of those days. It's going to be one of those posts on this blog: the disgruntled, impotently angry rant that argues round and round in circles without coming to a solution, or a close.
Today everything is more pointless than usual despite the clear cold beautiful weather and the obvious lack of major obstacles in life. Bored beyond belief I once again sit and stare at my computer screen, knowing that if I went on a three hour lunch break no one would really notice or care. Once again I hear that "things will speed up and we'll have a lot to do in January" and it still doesn't make the time pass any quicker. Today everything is bunch of blah blah blah and I can't really figure out how to turn things around.

I'll keep you posted if I find a cure for the Thursday blues..

Girly?

2008-12-03T09:19:00.002+01:00

Is this blog girly? That's what a work mate of mine said anyway.
The boss of my unit just came in and asked where my supervisor was and I told the truth - that he had taken the day off to go to IKEA. Immediately when I saw my boss' reaction I realized that I should be more strategic with the truth; maybe omitting the whole IKEA business.. Yesterday I had more coffee and less water than usual, turning me into Speedy Tourettes Gonsalez to my coworkers chagrin. It seems like a mystery to me - how can I be so smart and yet be so dumb?

New look

2008-12-02T10:54:00.001+01:00

I am messsing about with the layout of the blog. Please feel free to comment if you think it's harder to read this way.

Cheers

Pinch punch the first of the month

2008-12-01T14:07:00.003+01:00

I had a really nice weekend, let me tell ya. Friday evening I said goodbye to C and S who had stayed with me, but before that we had greasy Chinese food (my favourite Chinese food)and lovely ice cream.
saturday I took a nice walk in the sunshine, went to IKEA with a colleague and his boyfriend (we sang along to Britney Spears in the car on the way there - my kind of fun!) and bought Swedish food and some random things for the flat. I went to a house party with friends, walked home in the middle of the night with said friends (we got home just before the HUGEST thunderstorm broke out). On Sunday the same friends and I went to an outlet outside of Rome where we found overpriced expensive stuff for a slightly reduced price. I bought a pair of jeans even though I'm basically broke. Last night the weather gods treated us to another fantastic storm which set all the doors in my flat banging all through the night.
Today it's hailing like you wouldn't believe and the work is slow.
Bye for now.

For all you Swedish speakers..

2008-12-01T13:55:00.002+01:00

Jag var på IKEA i helgen och såg följande vackra ting.. Rödbetor, knäckebröd, julmust, dillchips, glögg, aladdinaskar, marabou mjölkchoklad, räkost, lax, delicatobollar, mazariner och kokkaffe.. Mina ögon tårades av glädje, och ner i korgen slank julknäckebröd, pepparkakor, julmust och chokladbollar - tröstmat att äta när suget efter det förlovade landet blir för stort.

Gorgeous lawyers..

2008-11-28T13:42:00.003+01:00

Just returned from a meeting with a guy from HR, with only Swedish interns. It was slightly depressing since I was once again reminded that there are so many gorgeous 25-year old lawyers who lead their life in the most CV-maximising way; I tend to think that people in general are like me and do things because the want to, just for the fun or heck of it.

Aarrgh I don't have a career goal! But what I do have is an invitation to do backing vocals for my supervisor's band... Mwahaha, how do you like them apples, oh smart beauty queens?!

Sorry. I know I shouldn't compete with other people since that's an exercise in futility. There will always be someone who is better looking, smarter, funnier or goal-oriented than me; the point is not to be disheartened by that fact. I'm totally OK even though I'm soon 27 and still don't have any idea want I want to do.

Cheers

Spooky

2008-11-28T09:27:00.006+01:00

The wind outside the office building howls and moans and gusts of rain hit unsuspecting UN employees on their way to work. Today a huge public transport strike was supposed to take place but they (who they are)decided to call it off last minute. Yes!

On a weirder note: yesterday evening (which was a very pleasant one, with my friends and I having ice cream and wine in bed while reading glossy magazines and discussing life) my steel shutters broke down with a loud crash-like groan. They cover the entrance doors to the balcony from my room and when they don't work I can't see daylight or access the balcony from my room! And of course the land lord is in the UK.. Maybe I could fix them myself (famous last words)?

These last couple of days I have been convinced that the 6 Dec was this Saturday, i.e. that my new flat mate was moving in tomorrow. It dawned on me yesterday that it's next week - so I have one whole week of enacting Tom Cruise's scene from Risky Business around the flat!

Ciao ragazzi, have a good weekend

So much good stuff happening..

2008-11-27T15:24:00.004+01:00

Such as:
More things to do at work
I got another grant - 800 euro
I have friends over
..Who made reaally delicious food for me
It hasn't rained in a couple of hours
I've got a duvet

New flatmate!

2008-11-25T16:31:00.002+01:00

New flatmate is moving in on Saturday - L from the Philippines, also with the WFP.

Tonight I'm have company coming over, C and S are visiting Rome (and therefore me) for three days!

So happy it's Friday!

2008-11-21T09:47:00.003+01:00

Yes you know it's true - today is Friday! Next week my supervisor will be back from his trip and I'll badger him until he gives me something to do. Wednesday I attended a video conference with a bunch of interns, talking to a Joint Inspection Unit in Geneva (I just like to write Joint Inspection Unit, it's sounds so important) about life as a WFP intern. It eased my mind to hear what the others had to say about their internships - some were pleased with their situation while others were quite critical, like me. Anyway, I'm not alone begrudging my current situation.

This weekend might include jazz, bikes, poker, beer. I'm not sure in what order though.

Oh did I tell you my flatmate C is moving out? Indeed she is and if I don't find someone new I'll be up the creek. An Italian girl was supposed to come a look at the place at the beginning of the week but she was a no show. Everyone who heard this said "well what do you expect, she's Italian.." I've made an appointment tomorrow with another Italian girl, we'll see if she shows up.

Have a good weekend,
Ciao

I will survive

2008-11-18T16:06:00.000+01:00

Not as angry today, still bored though. But I'm going to prevail dammit!

Angry rant

2008-11-17T13:57:00.009+01:00

I'm just going to to be angry for a while now: I'm seriously fucking tired of having nothing to do. For two weeks now it's been nada, niente, ingenting, nothing to do at work and it's driving me around the bend. It makes me feel useless and restless, a huge waste of my money and my time. I'm not learning anything, not doing anything! So yesterday when I met a colleague and he complained about his unit being understaffed and overworked I naturally saw a solution to everyone's problem. I sent a polite and well-written email to my out-of-town boss and asked him if I could help the other unit out. A bit later he responded saying basically no. I'm not stupid enough to miss that this is 96% office politics; sanctioned sheer idiocy. So here I am, in front of my computer ten hours a day, watching the hands of the clock drag themselves around while some of my workmates are working hard. I'm so fucking disappointed I can't even begin to tell you about it.

I just talked to my best friend on the phone and now I'm even angrier. Her take on it was that it was natural for me to be upset - I did pack my stuff and moved across Europe to be put to work and to learn new things.. And for what?
Boy I really have to try to cheer myself up, it's not gonna work otherwise.

A dearth

2008-11-13T09:25:00.005+01:00

Sorry I haven't been blogging for a while now. Things have been excruciatingly slow at work and the boredom saps me of the creative juice desperately needed for blogging. But now I finally found something worth writing about - the romantic film of the ages: The Notebook. I saw it yesterday, but I remember being told about it long before by an enthusiastic friend, L. It was so good, so lovely! Ah man it made me radiate happiness och quasi-cheesy joy, and my flatmate and I almost burst into spontaneous song afterwards. It was that good.

So what else is there to tell you all about? The cold and the rain has settled like a gray heavy blanket over the city. It's colder indoors than outside, and the radiators haven't been turned on yet. The reason we all go to work now despite the apparent lack of things to do is so that we can warm ourselves with coffee. Exaggerated but true!

Not doing anything productive today

2008-11-06T11:38:00.003+01:00

.. No one here is (sorry, starving children!) so we're all emailing jokes to each other. My favourite so far: "Yo momma's so dumb she thinks a quarterback is a refund".

a book that makes a difference

2008-11-05T09:51:00.006+01:00

I have just been downstairs for my usual 9.15 coffee with workmates (today it was celebratory coffee). The coffee was good, the spirits high. Sitting next to me at the table was a British guy, H, a very educated, well-spoken, sophisticated young man. He's the BBC, the monarchy, the pompousness and effortless self-confidence of the UK, all rolled up into one person. And he starts telling me (in front of people I consider my friends) that my English is quite hard to understand. Apparently my accent is 30% British interspersed with Swedish intonation, all spoken very fast. He's probably correct about me speaking too fast sometimes, and I do have an English accent while being inescapably Swedish. But it was the way he said it. I felt a horrible blush set up camp on my face. He's done this to me before, exclaiming that my English was old-fashioned and quirky (I was reading Lady Chatterley's lover at the time) - and always in front of people. Which of course leaves me feeling self-conscious and awkward. But.

When I was in Sweden for the weekend my good friend E thrust a book in my hands, demanding that I should take it back home and read it. And so I did. The book is basically about self-esteem and self-confidence, and the difference in between those two. I realise that in a lot of situations I have a solid (not so say grand) sense of self-confidence, but at the same time my self-esteem hangs in the balance, all too dependent on what people think of me. The scenario today with H is usually one of those where I laugh it off in front off people and then feel insecure about it afterwards, resenting the person who said the offensive comment in question. But no today. I'm gonna go aalll self-help book on H's ass (and everybody else's ass), turn the other cheek and not feel slighted. Who cares about my English, spoken or written? Who needs to compete for the title of smartest person in WFP? Not me! Starting from now I'm going to work on boosting my self-esteem. So there, H.

Back in Rome

2008-11-05T08:54:00.003+01:00

Yesterday saw yet another fantastic thunderstorm (tempesta as the Italians call it) and today everything appears to be fresh and new, after being washed by torrents of rain. And Obama won! The world feels slightly better today, no?

Tadaah!

2008-10-31T15:54:00.002+01:00

OK I'm in Sweden and I've already done one of the most Swedish things you can do, which is to ignore someone you know at the bus stop. Anyway, here it's nice and cold - some parts of the country even have snow!

Today I presented my thesis and I got top grades which frankly surprised the hell out of me! So there you have it folks, I'm done with school and school is done with me. I would be happier if I could but I'm dogarnit tired after not sleeping last night and getting up five in the morning to work on my presentation.. I'll do my victory laps tomorrow, I promise.

EB

2008-10-28T10:25:00.005+01:00

Yesterday I attended the Executive Board meeting that is taking place here at WFP head quarters. The set-up is what you recognize from the news on TV: important representatives sitting behind desks with their country name on a black sign, wearing ear pieces to hear the translators. I was literally a fly on the wall as I sat on one of the few chairs reserved for WFP staff along the walls of the auditorium. The issue on the agenda was regional presentations so I listened in on speeches on Sudan, Mozambique, Somalia etc. The English translator was hilarious - he had such an aristocratic, crook-in-an-American-movie accent that I just couldn't believe it; the type who pronounces "years" as [jeaars]. It was fun. You can imagine how dry the meeting was if that got me laughing for the rest of the day!

Tomorrow I'm going back to Sweden in order to a) defend my thesis b) meet friends and family c) stock up on winter boots and jackets and d) eat proper healthy food. I'm returning to Italy ludicrously early on Sunday and it was just yesterday eveing I realized that we're all off work on Monday - so I could have stayed longer! Damn damn damn..

I fit the bill

2008-10-28T10:23:00.001+01:00

This is from the blogg "Stuff White People Like":

In most of the world when a person works long hours without pay, it is referred to as “slavery” or “forced labor.” For white people this process is referred to as an internship and is considered an essential stage in white development.

The concept of working for little or no money underneath a superior has been around for centuries in the form of apprenticeship programs. Young people eager to learn a trade would spend time working under a master craftsman to learn a skill that would eventually lead to an increase in material wealth.

Using this logic you would assume that the most sought after internships would be in areas that lead to the greatest financial reward. Young White people, however, prefer internships that put them on the path for careers that will generally result in a DECREASE of the material wealth accumulated by their parents.

For example, if you were to present a white 19 year old with the choice of spending the summer earning $15 an hour as a plumber’s apprentice or making $0 answering phones at Production Company, they will always choose the latter. In fact, the only way to get the white person to choose the plumbing option would be to convince them that it was leading towards an end-of-summer pipe art installation.

White people view the internship as their foot into the door to such high-profile low-paying career fields as journalism, film, politics, art, non-profits, and anything associated with a museum. Any white person who takes an internship outside of these industries is either the wrong type of white person or a law student. There are no exceptions.

If all goes according to plan, an internship will end with an offer of a job that pays $24,000 per year and will consist entirely of the same tasks they were recently doing for free. In fact, the transition to full time status results in the addition of only one new responsibility: feeling superior to the new interns.

When all is said and done, the internship process serves the white community in many ways. First, it helps to train the next generation of freelance writers, museum curators, and director’s assistants. But more importantly, internships teach white children how to complain about being poor.

So when a white person tells you about their unpaid internship at the New Yorker, it’s not a good idea to point out how the cost of rent and food will essentially mean that they are PAYING their employer for the right to make photocopies. Instead it’s best to say: “you earned it.” They will not get the joke.

Från DN idag

2008-10-27T09:48:00.000+01:00

"På en tröja ser Obama ut som killen på Kalles kaviar-tuben - fast mörk."

Det är ju sant!

Aaoooww

2008-10-24T13:47:00.005+02:00

My head hurts due to some unscheduled celebratory drinking last night. We have finished the Blue Book (finally no more Danish swearing) and today we have nothing to do but sit at our desks and clutch our heads, vincing at loud noises. Of course when I say "we" I mean "I". My plans for the weekend include not drinking and not spending any (large) amounts of money. We'll see how that goes.

I booked my flight to Schweden land so Gothenburg here I come! Although the message on the cheap tickets site gave me pause - "the booking has not been confirmed by the airline, please wait 24 hours for confirmation". Is that normal? Anyway, if all goes well with the purchase I'll be home next Wednesday already!

Ciao everyone

P.S. Wall-E was so sweet..

Batman!

2008-10-22T14:02:00.004+02:00

These last couple of days have been work work work. We finally sent a draft to the Important People Upstairs and now we're waiting for the feedback to come and kick us in the nuts (basically what my supervisor is telling me). The Blue Book (remember, the prognosis on beneficiary needs and requirements for 2009?) is going to print on Thursday for the Executive Board meeting the 23rd, and by that time we can all let out a huge sigh of relief. But not yet. So that's why we're still hunched over our computers at our desks, and that's why my supervisor is still swearing in Danish, sotto voce.

I'm gonna try to get out early today (around six) so I can see Wall-E at the cinema - I've been wanting to see that for like three months now!

New glasses? They're fine. My friend M's remark about them was that the Gucci-logo on the frame looks like the Batman symbol (when slanted just so). He probably thought he was delivering a killer insult but I was pleased!

Finally

2008-10-21T13:54:00.002+02:00

Wohooo the new glasses are here and I can see once again! I want to write about my weekend and about the book I'm reading and about work but the boss is soon coming in from lunch and I gotta look busy. I'll update you all later.

Hey hey

2008-10-20T11:39:00.002+02:00

Today I get my glasses. Today is crunch-time, we have a lot to do. Today will be yet another long day in the office (we stayed until eight on Friday). Today I'm in a good mood.

I've added another link to my blog, called Illustration Art. It's so good, you have to check it out!

Tell you more later, ciao

Forget about it

2008-10-16T15:12:00.002+02:00

Hrrmph. I'm in such a bad mood today. All talk bores me. Work is tedious (it really is though)and I keep staring off into space instead of focusing on what's ahead (hey did that rhyme?). Colleagues who previously were funny are just petty and juvenile. My eyes are strained. I'm just grumpy. And I even had a really nice evening yesterday, enjoying some pizza (nice this time) and Australian wine on a terrace in beautiful Trastevere in the company of witty, good-looking people. Apparently that's the stuff that brings me down.

Bad week

2008-10-14T18:05:00.002+02:00

Sure I'm being flippant about the whole fainting and losing my glasses ordeal but that's my style, right or wrong. But to be honest with you, I chose a fricking baad week to walk around visually impaired. We've got so much to do it ain't even funny and I'm squinting at the screen like a mentally challenged person. It's going to a loong week until I get my glasses I tell you.

Ciao

For once no fuss

2008-10-14T11:20:00.003+02:00

With a minimum of fuss I got myself a new pair of glasses yesterday. Well of course I didn't get them so to speak, but I put in an order and they will be ready next Monday. Brand?
Gucci baby!

My weekend

2008-10-14T11:09:00.003+02:00

Conversation with my colleague M yesterday over coffee:
Me: So how was your weekend?
M: Stellar. I was in London to see my girlfriend, and we went to the V&A, Brick Lane, had some bad curry.. It was fun. And yours?
Me: Well you know, business as usual. I walked around in the terrific weather, sat in a park and read Lady Chatterley’s Lover (love it!), went to a concert and saw John Legend and the Cure, fainted a couple of times and lost my glasses in the process. Sunday I spent at home, just relaxing.
M: You lost your glasses?
Me: Yes. But it’s OK though, I get by.
M: Alright then.

So what happened was that I had unknowingly subjected my poor self to warm weather, not enough food, beer and standing in a huge cramped crowd for four hours. Coupled with the lasting effects of my cold I guess it all was a bit too much. I remember being bored by the Cure, thinking “I don’t feel so good, I should really get out of here”. I think I turned to my colleague C and said so. We started pushing our way out of the crowd and the next thing I knew I was being carried by paramedics to a nearby tent. I came to thinking I was in M*A*S*H (no, not really, but I was groggy). Through pantomime, some French and Italian I conveyed that I wasn’t dying and that I was OK, although sans glasses.

In the end I was released, and a Swedish acquaintance followed me home. Through dumb luck I wasn’t trampled, I didn’t lose my purse or my jumper (though I would’ve preferred to lose a jumper rather than my glasses) and I survived the experience in one piece. Despite some mortification and mild shock I’m quite alright thank you.

Italian efficiency

2008-10-09T15:08:00.002+02:00

Today I changed desks in the office. Before I was sitting right next to the door which was kind of a shitty spot since I was constantly disturbed by people walking by in the hallway, plus it put me right under the AC vent. But now, oh now! I have a new shiny desk with a slightly used computer and bookcases and notice boards around me and all sorts of neat stuff! The whole changing of work station thing was quintessentially Italian: one guy came to move my stuff. I told him there was no actual desks being moved, just a change of computer and my handbag moved a couple of meters (he left, muttering under his breath). Then another guy came to move my phone. Then another guy came to move my computer.

Isn't it adorable?

Ciao!

Awww!

2008-10-08T13:40:00.002+02:00

Yesterday was my one month anniversary of my internship-UN-Italian-life and there were no fireworks let off, parties held or speeches given. I would have settled for a normal bloody Tuesday really, but instead my body decided to throw me a coming-down-with-a-cold-fest. I should have known something was up on Monday when I couldn’t stop freezing.. So now my throat hurts and my head is heavy and my eyes ache. And if my current physical shape wasn’t enough to get me down I’m presently stuck doing the most tedious task imaginable at work, checking 689749128740104 ‘output indicators’ in a spreadsheet. Trust me on this one, you don’t want to know.

But I had a lovely weekend though, one that was, and do I need to point this out, without any activities that leave you weak and prone to viruses the week after. I did not deserve this, that’s all I’m trying to say. I fell into bed yesterday after work and felt sorry for myself, eating ice cream that was delicious for one minute then too rich and too sweet for ten. Urgh.

Anyway moreover nonetheless, I thought you all would like to get acquainted with the leading characters in this reality blog-show that is my life. As you know I live with an Aussie, C. She’s nice, a bit much at times but then again who isn’t? She sings in the morning, is obsessed with her health and is always out and about, leaving me home alone to enjoy the peace and quiet (and the shower). At work I sit in the same office as my supervisor, M. He’s Danish, and really tall. I call him the Great Dane (buut not to his face). M is young, very good at his job, obsessed with his health and in general a succesful bloke. Directly behind my desk sits F, a quiet Italian (the only one I’ve met) who never makes a fuss. Also in the office is J, a juvenile American who is obsessed with beer. We of course hit it off right away since I’m outgoing and has the tendency to never shut up, something he can relate to.

In the same departement but a couple of doors down the hallway you find among others S, my Swedish colleague (who I lived with the first week), C (my flatmate), and a Canadian and a Brit who never ever smile, a very very French Madame and an Italian secretary who never does a lick of work. That’s the motley crew I see everyday at WFP – but no workday is complete without coffee breaks or lunches. That’s when I team up with the gallant M (the Canadian fellow who helped me find my bloody fusebox when the lights were out) and the rough C (a very rude but funny American obsessed with working out and, well, smoking weed).

That’s the cast of the show.

Oh I almost forgot to mention my morning co-stars! Every morning I see my fruit and veg vendors, Italian guy 1 (who winks at me) and Italian guy 2 (who smokes when picking out my fruit du jour). They never hurry and never cease to speak Italian with me even though they know that C and I are hurrying to catch the train to work and that I don’t understand a word they’re saying. God bless them really. Seems that all the vitamines in the fruit they sell me are ineffective against this cold huh?

Oh yeah, two more lightbulbs have gone pffft! at home so now C and I basically get by by candle light. We need a ladder to change the bulbs!

Ciao

The walkabout

2008-10-06T14:18:00.002+02:00

This city is amazingly beautiful, it's not even fun to use the word 'beautiful' anymore. Yesterday I was out walking for about four hours - I set a course for the Vatican and saw many lovely things on the way. The Vatican was big, impressive and .. churchy. I did some nunspotting and enjoyed the lovely weather and all in all it was a really good day.

Random pics taken during my walkabout yesterday

2008-10-06T14:10:00.002+02:00

This is Castel Sant'Angelo, a mausoleum that looks like a fort. Right next to the Vatican, on the river.

Gotta love yellow cars.

The Swiss guard at the Vatican. They make me think of Ronald McDonald.

Gotta love yellow vespas.

Beautiful views like these are everywhere here, it's almost a pain in the ass.

Garbatella

2008-10-03T08:26:00.002+02:00

Hi how are you all?

Great.

Two days ago I was taking a stroll around Garbatella, a lovely area right next to where I live. The place it's actually a mini-model-village inside the city, built by Mussolini (to show people how life ought to look like) or so I have been told. Anyway the area is charming. You see kids playing football, old people in the piazza eating ice cream, whole families out walking.. The ol' fascist dictator must be so proud that the core values are being upheld!
As I was walking down a street admiring the neighbourhood's mandatory imposing church I noticed .. a peacock walking towards me. On the street. A blue peacock. Right in front of me. We exchanged shocked glances. It possibly became bored after a while because it turned and walked into a garden, and just sat there. No one else in the vicinity was making a big scene about the exotic bird in the midst of the everyday domestic scen so I kept my excitement to myself.
But it was cool.

Ciao!

Beautiful October

2008-10-01T13:37:00.003+02:00

There is an Italian expression apparently; "Ottobrate Romane", meaning that Rome's beauty comes out in full in October. I second that, judging by the clean rain-washed streets and the crisp air this morning. It's also very warm and sunny today, as in shouldn't-have-worn-trousers-to-work-weather (not as in half nude though). Sorry I'm a bit silly here from the regular lunch sunstroke.

On a completely different note altogether I had my hair cut this weekend. The linguistic exchange between myself and the hairdresser was.. not optimal. So I ended up with really really short hair. I look like a corporate GI Jane and it's making me feel really self-conscious. My only comfort is the firm belief that things can only get better.

Yesterday I survived my first bike ride in Rome. Two workmates and I braved the traffic on bikes in order to eat some purportedly fine pizza. The ride was nice, the evening was pleasant. The pizza? Not spectacular.

Ciao yall!

McGyver

2008-09-30T11:24:00.002+02:00

Friday I went to a fancy party with a group of workmates. The party had a theme - "Dress to Impress" - and I was indeed dressed accordingly. It was a lot of fun, the venue was really nice and the drinks (Swedish vodka only) were blindingly strong. My favourite part of the evening though was not the dancing, the mingling or the general showing off - no it was while I still was at home, getting ready to go out. I was all dressed up in my best attire (semi-fancy-shmancy)and wanted to enjoy a beer before I left the house. To my dismay I realized that (of course) my poorly equipped kitchen didn't include a bottle opener. Hmm what to do what to do. In the end I pried the damn bottle open - with a can of tuna. I felt like a really well dressed McGyver.

Saturday was all about me regretting those vodka drinks.
Sunday saw me walking around Rome for five hours, writing postcards and shamlessly eavesdropping on American tourists. The weather is still nice and to my great vexation I'm being chewed up by mosquitoes!

Tonight it's pizza time. My colleague M has promised to show a bunch of us where (quote) the galaxy's best pizza (unquote) can be found. I'm not holding my breath here.

Ciao!

Strange occurences

2008-09-25T10:21:00.003+02:00

Strange occurence 1:
My green grocer this morning really wanted to discuss the tragic school shooting in Finland with me. He knows I'm swedish and don't speak a word of Italian. I managed to convey sadness and bewilderment over the horrible event with basically shoulder movements and facial expressions.

Strange occurence 2:
Yesterday I was talking an American, explaining my Swedish English quarter Iraqi jewish background. He just shook his head at the mixture and said "sounds like a pizza topping gone wrong".

I love smart insults!

Still loads to do at work and starting from tomorrow I will have new tasks demanding my attention, and not the nice n' easy editorial kind mind you. I'm nervous.

Ciao ragazzi

Italian arrividercis II

2008-09-24T11:30:00.004+02:00

So here is the rest of my ”What I did On My Weekend” essay:

Friday evening started as you all know with a trip to a pittoresque town outside of Rome, where a gang of interns from WFP plus yours truly had some really lovely food at a rustic restaurant that came comlpete with a fat cook in a white apron trying to take our disorderly orders in an orderly manner. He yelled at us but so does everyone here (Italians yell when they’re happy, they yell when they’re angry. I’m starting to get used to it). After saying our looong goodbyes outside the restaurant (“Ciao ciao, see you Monday!”) we all piled into our separate cars.
To go home, I thought.

But we went to “Geronimo and friends or (or something like it)”. It looked like the bar had been built and furnished to suit a madman’s perception of the US. Cacti and bald eagles painted on the walls, flags hanging everywhere (a funny coworker of mine asked “was there a flag sale?”), Harley-Davidson signs, you name it. It was fake-America; the kind of place you’d think it was if you only saw Easy rider and spaghetti westerns. And the people! They wore belt buckles and boots and leather vests and we couldn’t stop laughing because it was so bloody precious! The best thing was the dance floor: a crowd of cowboys and bikers dancing intently to Tainted Love and Rock around the Clock. We joined them, happily.

At three in the morning we bid our farewells to each other (“Ciao ciao ragazzi!”) and once again I was more than happy to go home. But alas, yet again the Swede had apparently missed something because the car caravan just set a course for the closest café. I’m not making this up. Five o’ clock in the morning I’m standing on a freezing parking lot with a crowd I don’t really know in a place I don’t really know, politely refusing to drink coffee. And then we said goodbye. Again. I must have said “Ciao” to these people for about two hours all together that night! The big question is WHY we had to say goodbye to each other in the first place, we were practically all joined at the hip anyway??

Later the same day (Saturday that is) my new flatmate and I cleaned for five hours straight. I didn’t even have breakfast, I just got out of bed groggily and attacked the floors with a broom. A shame really because the weather outside was lovely.

Sunday I went to Porta Porteze, a big outdoor market that’s open once a week. It’s quite famous and been there forever apparently. To me it basically seemed to be the place where cheap Chinese fake stuff goes to die. Picture it: about 300 stalls (with loud vendors crying out the prices) selling identical trinkets to tourists and Romans alike, a forum for hustlers and suckers to do business.
I bought slippers – only two euros! (So yeah I was one of the suckers).

Bugger

2008-09-23T14:03:00.005+02:00

Oh I'm just so awfully tired and we've got tons to do at work (even me which was nice, at first) and my co-worker S (the girl I lived with for a week) has had a migraine for over a week and she's really worried and I really worried and the weather is unreliable and today I chose the wrong food in the canteen by mistake so I basically had cheese for lunch ("that's how you get fat in Italy" said a co-worker)and I'm just so tiired! And I want to write so many emails and letters and postcards but all I do in the office is editorial work so after a while I get facial ticks as soon as I see words so how the hell am I supposed to stay in contact with everyone?
I've had three macchiati today and I still can't keep my eyes open, and not because of some glamourous lifestyle either.

OK I'll write some more when I stop whining.
Ciao ragazzi

Italian arrividercis

2008-09-22T13:54:00.004+02:00

So Friday the rain was pouring down but I decided not to let that stop me. I went out with a bunch of interns to Frescati which is supposed to be a lovely little town perched on some hills outside Rome. The whole venture seemed a bit pointless in that regard since it was dark outside (I saw nothing of the promised beauty)and anyway we never moved from the little rustic restaurant where we had our dinner. After driving for 90 minutes (the last half hour just going round in circles trying to find the elusive restaurant) we finally arrived, and we were starving! The food was simple and divine. Bruschetta,mozzarella, bread, some kind of dried garlicy squash.. And nondescript nice red wine to wash it all down with. It was so good!And the gang sitting around the table was great; everyone talked and ate and drank at the same time, the noise was incredible. And since there were about seven languages represented around the table nobody really understand one another in the din.. After dinner we said our long protracted goodbyes and piled into the cars again. I thought we were going home and I was looking forward to go to bed and just give up for the week. But no, it turns out that we were heading for this bar in the middle of nowhere, "Geronimo's".

I really should get some work done, I'll finish the story later (it's a good one too, it involves Italian bikers!).

Ciao!

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

2008-09-19T16:22:00.006+02:00

I got a positive answer today on one of my grant applications, tjohooo (a Swedish exclamation, I'm not sneezing or anything)! Even though it's oppressively gray outside and I'm still pretty beat from the celebration yesterday I still have the energy to do cartwheels down the halls of WFP. The sum isn't massive but it's still a great help - it almost pays two months worth of rent. I'm glad.

The light in the shower is still out but I've come up with a nice concept: candle lit showers. It's relaxing! Maybe some spas will copy my revolutionary idea.

Today BOTH my parents AND one of my best friends called to say hello. I almost suffer from happiness overload.

Sorry if this is slightly giddily written but I'm a bit tired. Foolishly I've accepted to go out tonight as well, a bunch of WFP interns are going to Frescati, a beautiful little town/village outside of Rome. In the pouring rain I might add.

Ciao, thanks for reading and have a good weekend!

Samaritans

2008-09-18T08:47:00.003+02:00

My co-worker M reeeally came through for me yesterday. He helped me look for the fusebox. It took us over an hour since it was cleverly hidden in the building next door behind a fridge in the basement up on the roof. When we got the lights on he showed me how to magically operate the hot water tank. I think it's criminal to rent out a flat to a Swede without telling her "OK Rome is a developing country of its own and you cannot have the crazy luxury of hot water and the washing machine on at the same time".

This morning the light bulb in the bathroom went pfffblinkpp! and died when I flipped the switch but today I can handle it no problemo. Not on the verge of tears hooray!

The flat is still gross and in dire need of cleaning but I think I've got used to it. Or maybe it's because I'm never there - yesterday I went out for aperetivos (9 euros for a beer!) and this evening there will be drinks in celebration of my Aussie flatmate's birthday. Good way to avoid cleaning I say.

Ciao!

Who wants to know?

2008-09-17T13:58:00.002+02:00

I understand that many of you are dying to find out what I do down here at WFP in Rome. I'm still uncertain. But I can tell you this:
I work in the reporting unit. The unit sifts through and analyses data from WFP country offices and regional bureaux in order to put together briefs for the executive hotshots but also for the WFP homepage. The unit also heads the production of the so-called Bluebook. It's an extensive catalogue over all WFP operations in over 80 countries and projects the coming needs (both food and cash) for 2009. The book is to be handed out to all donors (mainly nations)in October. My part of it is to edit the narrative portions of the country and project descriptions, and why it became my lot I don't know. So I sit and read and compare texts with the editorial guide lines all day long. But of course I take macchiato breaks!

Damsel in distress I guess

2008-09-17T11:51:00.004+02:00

So once again I have been remiss in my blogging duty. I keep thinking I’ll have time to blog at the same pace I live but that’s foolish – a million new confusing wonderful and irritating things happen here everyday and I just don’t have time to write about it!
I just want to give you a condensed version of these last couple of days here in Rome:

Friday: we had a huge thunder storm! It was like the wrath of gods. It marked the end of the warm weather they’ve had down here, and the horizontal rain made me think of my home town Gothenburg. My Swedish co-worker S and I went out for drinks with other WFP people in the evening when the storm had died down a little. And when I say died down a little I mean that it was still pouring down..We had drinks ("aperetivos" I think they’re called here, but I’m not sure if that means drinks or the whole after work drinking concept) with some really nice people (all complaining about their soggy shoes) right by the Colosseo which looks fantastic when it's lit at night.

Saturday: seeing the sights in Rome. In the evening S and I had planned to do absolutely nothing and enjoy it too, but then our closest supervisor and neighbour called and invited us over for drinks which was nice of him (his girlfriend celebrated her birthday so there were a lot of people there.

Sunday: hangover day. I finally get to wash some clothes and when I hang them out to dry on the terrace the rain starts up again. In the evening I went to finalise the whole flat renting deal and that’s another long and tedious story.

Monday: I enjoy a very nice lunch with a bunch of co-workers (all of whom are a bit crazy it turns out. We discuss the situation in Georgia, the American presidential election and Matt Damon. I realize I’m really part of the WFP team when I start to receive emails full of goofy links, pictures and “quote-of-the-day“ stuff. Also my supervisor gives me a hell of a lot to do which makes me feel all the more welcome here on my new job. The evening treats us to yet another fantastic thunderstorm and rain rain rain which was convenient since I once again had to schlep my suitcase across town. That’s right folks, I finally moved to my new place! I took a taxi a part of the way as I just couldn’t, couldn’t be bothered to navigate the narrow uneven streets with my lead case.
I discovered that the flat was.. in a state. In a shit state. It was a pigsty. It looked like the former occupants had just upped and left in the middle of the night! Speechless I walked around and just gaped at the things they’d left behind. Here are just some examples: an onion on the kitchen table. The kitchen rubbish. Food on plates in the fridge. A fridge, packed with semi-filled bottles with syrup and ketchup. Socks, shoes, dirty towels and flip-flops lying on the floor. Bottles, jars, perfumes, old soaps, towels and medicine in the bathroom. It was funny in its own surreal way at first but then it just started to freak me out. I couldn’t touch ANY surface and the sheets on the bed were yellow and worn and I just didn’t want to have skin contact with them.. To top it off I realized that I couldn’t use my computer since the sockets in the place were from Pluto AND that the shower had no hot water. But I persevered and just said ‘fuck it, I’m off to bed’. The lack of a blanket and the traffic noise coming from outside made sleeping difficult. Also I missed my mum (she could help me clean the place, and give me a hug.

Yesterday, Tuesday: I bought fruit from a market place on my way to work (dead cheap delicious pears!) and felt well adjusted to my new life here when I had time to get bored waiting for the train to the office (boredom is quite rare in the life of a newbie). I left work pretty early (17.20) and bought a tremendous amount of stuff for the flat: cleaning equipment, things for the bathroom, food... It felt great to spend my dwindling resources on things like Ajax and mops. With no time to lose I launched Operation Clean Up when I got home. I cleaned and scrubbed and I scrubbed and I cleaned. I even loaded the washing machine with the dirty towels left behind. I felt pretty god about myself, and it was nice to do something productive and back breaking.
And then the lights went out. Everything stopped and there I stood, surrounded by furniture turned up side down on a wet kitchen floor. A very puzzled damsel in distress in pitch black darkness. After exploring a bit I realized that it was just my flat that had been affected – I could still hear my neighbour’s TV blaring. I tried knocking on neighbour doors to ask for help but no one (no one!) answered. I tried calling the janitor guy who my land lord had assured me would “answer at any time” and he of course didn’t answer. In the end I ventured outside and procured a lighter so I at least could light a candle, thinking to myself that “the darkness at least conceals the dirty state of the place”.

This morning the power was still missing but I stubbornly refused to be upset about it. And then I got to work and my computer semi-died on me and I almost started to cry. Too many stupid setbacks. But then a co-worker of mine who lives close by said he would help me find the fuse or the switch or thingamajig today. And the computer kinda works so I didn’t cry in the end. But it was, excuse my French, fucking close.

That’s my life up to this point.

Ciao

Saturday

2008-09-15T11:26:00.000+02:00

Tourism so far:

I’ve seen the Colosseo, but only from the outside. There were droves of annoying tourists everywhere (I don’t count myself as one of course, native to Rome as I am) plus men dressed up as gladiators who had their pictures taken for money. Seems like an easy job to me. But the crowds around the Colosseo freaked me out (not to mention the prices of the guided tours, trinkets and so on) so I strolled towards Monumento Nazionale a Vittorio Emanuele II, also called Altare della Patria; Altar of the Fatherland. From the name you can tell that the monument is all about grandeur. I saw big statues (with the compulsory themes: women carrying flags, men on horses, soldiers and gods and Caesars and pasta), majestic stairways, columns (or pillars, I don’t know the difference), and more men dressed up as gladiators. Soon enough the crowds, gladiators and patriotism of the place got to me and I had to move on. I had some delicious chocolate ice cream and made my way to Pantheon. The “temple of the gods” was built in circa 125 AD (so Wikipedia tells me) and is awe-inspiring, beautiful, and best of all – free! You can just stroll in and admire the architecture, the atmosphere and the mind-numbing size of the place. The dome of the Pantheon has a hole in it – the Great Eye – that is 8 meters across (or so my guide book tells me) so it’s like being in a church with daylight inside. It was pretty. The gladiators outside kind of resembled the guys outside of Colosseo and Monumento so I started to suspect that they were following me around. I have to say that the best part of my tourist Saturday was the ghetto. No gladiators there, just the great Synagogue surrounded by calm streets and piazzas. I sat down with my (semi-dull) pizza and my (quite decent and cheap) wine at a piazza and just relaxed. Soon a very sympathetic German hitch-hiker struck up conversation with me and before we knew it the whole afternoon had gone by.

I’ll write more about the adventures of the weekend but now I really have to do some more pretend work!

Ciao

Friday

2008-09-12T16:55:00.002+02:00

I’m looking forward to the weekend and my big sleep in, to have a moment to digest the events of these past couple of days. On the other hand it’s a bit .. scary at the same time. What do I do with two days off in Rome? It might strike you all as something of a luxury problem but hey, it’s still a problem for me. In a way it’s safe to be at work where I have somewhere to be and something to do (however insignificant). Maybe my free time will reveal just how much I miss friends and family.. But even so, I'm still pleased with my new life here in Rome.

Have a good weekend y'all

Sleeping and eating

2008-09-11T10:29:00.008+02:00

Right now I'm staying at a Swedish colleague's place, gratefully sleeping on the couch. On Monday I'm moving to a flat in the Piramide area, where I'm going to live with yet another colleague (Australian this time). The place we're going to rent is huge, and although it's a bit pricey for my pitiful budget it's still dead cheap in Rome standards. I've got a place and a roomie, woohoo!

Everything here is ridiculously expensive, and the rents are the worst. The coffee is cheap though. I have to restrain myself from drinking ten espressos a day cause they're so good. The food is quite expensive too, I mean 5 euros for a dull pizza with nothing on? I long to have my own place where I can cook - and most importantly - eat a proper breakfast. For the time being let's just say that eating in Italy is always a gastronomical adventure, of the disappointing kind.

If you want a complete description of my life down in Rome I can give it to you in three words: hungry (no breakfast, long hours, weird expensive food!), tired (I'm grateful for the couch but I'm not saying it's the excessively comfortable type, plus being Rome automatically exhausts you) confused (I don't really know where I live! I don't understand half of what's going on at work! I can't speak Italian!). Hungry, tired and confused as I am I'm still blown away by the kindness of strangers here. Everyone is actually nice and helpful! Italy, I'm beginning to find out, is like France but nicer. Why wasn't I been told about this before, did I miss an important memo? And the warm weather, aah don't get me started! If it weren't for the fact that I'm sequestered indoors all day I'd be on holiday!

Ciao ciao

It's thirty degrees here

2008-09-09T18:01:00.000+02:00

Oh the shame of it! Here I ask you to read my blog and then nothing comes forth. But to be honest these last couple of days have been hectic, filled with moments where I just stare and gape and wonder at everything and everyone. I haven’t had much time to sit in peace in front of a computer. Also there have been moments when I have had to schlep my lead-filled suitcase all across Rome, go without proper food for ever and get lost on a train. Not many opportunities to narrate my adventures there either.

But in short: it’s been fantastic. I haven’t seen anything of Rome yet except Colosseo and sadly I was underwhelmed to tell you the truth. Probably because I was beat after my first day at work and possibly due to the fact that it was very late in the evening and I hadn’t got home from the aforementioned work yet. But I have high hopes for the upcoming weekend – boy am I going to be the busy tourist! I’m going to see everything, after a sound sleep in that is.

I will tell you all about my travails but for now I have to consider leaving the office. It’s not like I’m doing anything productive anyway.
Ciao

Sista blogginlägget III: Hejdå

2008-06-18T10:51:00.000+02:00

Idag upphör Official Cheer att finnas till. Från och med nu blir det simpelt dagboksskrivande för min del - och det är inte det lättaste kan jag säga er. Att skriva för andra är lätt. Då kan jag vara fånig, briljera med retorikkunskaper eller gömma mig bakom akademiska begrepp. Då kan tunga svåra ämnen framställas på ett distanserat sätt som inte gör lika ont. Det tråkiga i livet kan bli underhållande och det kaotiska bli meningsfullt. Men att skriva bara för sig själv? Hu! Istället för att meddela hela världen något (ni vet, tankeexperimentet med global uppmärksamhet) ska man berätta något för sig själv. Och vad säger man till sig själv? Det är dags att ta reda på det.

Med vänliga hälsningar

/D

P.S. Jag kunde inte bestämma mig för hur jag skulle avsluta denna blogg så ni får hålla till godo med tre "sista blogginlägget". D.S

Sista blogginlägget II: auf Wiedersehen

2008-06-18T10:48:00.001+02:00

Jag skriver detta med stor tveksamhet. Ska jag verkligen avsluta min blogg när den trots allt har minst två stadiga läsare; läsare som förlitar sig på mig för omvärldsanalyser, krönikor och skvaller om mitt liv? Varför ska jag avsluta denna succé i skrift?
Svaret har att göra med kvalitet: en evighetspågående blogg blir sällan bra. En evighetspågående blogg tenderar att dö en ovärdig förstelnande död. Över tid slutar inläggen att komma och på sikt sinar kommentarerna från trägna läsare. Till sist överges bloggen helt, likt ett spökskepp seglar den fortfarande det stora nätet. Osedd, oläst, ensam, för alltid bevarad med ett sista inlägg (som inte visste att det skulle bli det sista inlägget, som inte handlade om något särskilt..). Är det inte bättre om min skriftliga verksamhet får dö en värdig och organiserad död; kanske en rent av firad sådan -
Bloggen är död, Länge Leve Bloggen!

Tack för alla läsningar, skummanden och ögnanden, tackar ödmjukast för all kritik, kommentarer och respons. Det har värmt och det värmer fortfarande! En klok person sade en gång att avslutningen betonas starkt inom retoriken; man skall aldrig slarva med de sista orden. Jag vill att min självcentrerade klagolåt i bloggform ska avslutas med en lycklig tanke som envar kan bära med sig under dagen: Framtiden är ljus för alla personer som (med en bokstav) har nämnts i denna blogg! Ekonomiska och akademiska motgångar kommer att överkommas, kanske förvandlas de till framgångar. Suveräna och kvalificerade tjänster kommer att dyka upp vid horisonten, CSN- lån kommer att återbetalas. Kärleken regerar, solen strålar och golfströmmen bibehåller sin kurs. S’all good!

/the D

Sista blogginlägget I: I bid you Adieu

2008-06-18T10:42:00.003+02:00

Jag skriver detta som en deckardrottning som tar sin favoritkaraktär av daga: med mordisk beslutsamhet. Ska det göras ska det göras ordentligt. Funderar på om syftet med sista inlägget borde vara en slags summering av blogg-året som gått: kanske en genomgång av de highs and lows jag har upplevt? Eller ska de bästa ögonblicken ”sändas” i repris? Eller ska detta inlägg tjäna som mitt samlade budskap till världen; det jag skulle säga om alla lyssnade för en sekund? Häromdagen funderade jag på en fråga. Om jag fick chansen att uttrycka vad som helst framför en kamera med hela världen som publik, vad skulle jag säga då? Om det ögonblickligen översattes till alla tänkbara språk och jag garanterades 40 sekunders absolut global uppmärksamhet? Omedelbart började jag tänka i plattityder: give peace a chance, don’t panic, allt åt alla, stoppa fattigdomen.. Men problemet med plattityder är ändå att alla håller med dem och är trötta på dem samtidigt. De betyder ju allt och därför inte så mycket. Och fan heller att jag framstår som banal inför fem miljarder (det är nog min största skräck: banalitet). Slutligen hade jag det; mitt eventuella budskap till världen: "Shit". Ett sådant roligt och kort ord! Ett helt universum av mening i en stavelse. Shit kan användas på så många sätt, det kan betyda ”allt”, ”inget”, ”skit” ,”bra” (it’s the shit).. Och mitt budskap blir fascinerande dubbeltydigt. Svär jag, pratar jag om något under min sko, klagar jag på något, anklagar jag någon? Är det ett utrop, en hypotes eller ett påstående? Är jag verkligen ultraytlig eller är jag så djup att jag inser att det djupa är ytligt och därmed är det ingen idé att vara vis?

Hela den här diskussionen är ändå akademisk eftersom jag inte står framför en kamera och såvitt jag vet åtnjuter jag inte heller global uppmärksamhet. Och faktum kvarstår att jag fortfarande inte har bestämt mig för innehållet i detta inlägg. Inom retoriken betonas vikten av avslutningen eller perorationen som det så fint heter. Delar som ingår i perorationen är bland annat rekapitulationen (sammanfattning) och commiseratio (att väcka medkänsla hos åhörarna). Om man ska gå efter hur många gånger jag har beklagat mig över min ekonomi, mina studier, mitt kärleksliv och min vardagliga livsosäkerhet så verkar det som om jag inte gjort något annat än att försöka väcka medkänsla hos er alla.

Ni förtjänar möjligtvis a happy ending till denna monolog; dels som belöning för troget läsande och dels för att det är så jag gillar hur saker och ting slutar. Det spelar ingen roll om det är film, böcker eller musik – det måste finnas ett positivt avslut som gör mig lätt i stegen efteråt. So my shit ends here:
En ny källa till glädje har uppstått - kanel och kardemumma i kaffet! Som kaffe och bulle på en och samma gång.

Bisous

/D

The Library Tour

2008-06-17T14:33:00.004+02:00

Mina Handledare ställer upp och skriver ett intyg till CSN så att jag kan söka förlängt CSN-lån (för juni endast). Det är så att jag vill gråta av tacksamhet. Tänk, att ett intyg kan uppskattas som hundra väldoftande rosor!

Är himla himla trött och känner inte för att ha arabiskalektion. Överhuvudtaget vill jag inte särskilt ha med någon del av Migrationsverket att göra (jag läser arabiska via jobbet alltså). Tänk, att uteblivna (utlovade)sommarpass kan kännas som ett getingstick i själen..

Osäkert

2008-06-12T10:46:00.002+02:00

Jag råkade skriva in 2 efter mitt namn i min hotmailadress och upplevde för en nanosekund en otäck identitetskris. Vem hade jag varit om jag vore blablabla2@hot...? Någon blek kopia, ett fjuttigt plagiat till person? Eller en harmonisk och balanserad tvåa, fri från existentiella kval som bara dyker upp på en torsdag då blodsockret är lågt på grund av jogging före frukost?

Min plan var inte att blogga om min emailadress men det visade sig att ämnet var intressantare än det jag ursprungligen ville dela med mig med er små duvor.

Vad är det goda livet?

I defect!

2008-06-10T18:05:00.001+02:00

Jag kan förstå om det hela verkar schizo: först söker jag en sommarkurs i humanekologi för att söka ytterligare studiemedel och fyra dagar senare hoppar jag av ovannämnda sommarkurs i humanekologi. Men varför frågar ni er, varför? Jag gjorde helt enkelt en snabb kalkylering. Benefit: en chans att få studiemedel (en chans alltså, inte en garanti). Cost: att lida ett flummigt ämne utan självrespekt, att snärjas in i ett grupparbete à la mellanstadiet (berätta allt om ett land, måla gärna en flagga med krita på framsidan av arbetet), läsa ointressant barnslig kurslitteratur och stå ut med föreläsningar om homo habilis’ uppfattning om hållbar utveckling.

Kostnaden överstiger nyttan.

OK ny plan. Jag skriver klart min uppsats (det blir lättare att göra det nu, det ska regna i veckan) och annat småkrafs som jag har kvar (en liten uppgift i miljösäkerhet, ett ämne som låter roligt men som helt misslyckas att vara det). Jag för en plankton-esque tillvaro, lever sparsamt och söker arbete. Ett riktigt sådant. Eller ett magdansjobb. Vilket som.

Good News Everyone!

2008-06-10T11:23:00.002+02:00

Humanekologin liknar hittills högstadiets geografilektioner fast utan en Nicklas som sitter längst bak och fäller omogna kommentarer. Nu får man höra omogna insikter av ett annat slag "miljöön är ju.. eh som liksom inte till för bara oss utan den måste ju få finnas.. själv också". Jag sitter istället på Campus Linné förvånansvärt fräscha och tysta bibliotek och funderar över om jag a) flummar bort mitt liv för tillfället eller b) upplever och uppskattar nuet utan tankar på vad som komma skall.

Vojne vojne

2008-06-08T11:41:00.005+02:00

Igår stod det 0-1 mellan Official Cheer och allt gräspollen i luften. Ingenting vettigt blev gjort igår, inget städat pluggat solat socialiserat ätit vilat. Bara youtube och en jättedålig bok, jPod av Douglas Coupland. Idag får jag ta igen allt det där eftersom imorgon börjar min sommarkurs. Idag ska det skrivas oj oj oj vad det ska skrivas. Jajemen. Skriva på metodkapitlet.

I fredags var det en högtidsstund: M var i stan! Vi satt hemma hos hennes päron (hennes uttryck) och njöt av sol och innehållet i päronens kylskåp. Vi diskuterade pengar, sommarjobb och -planer, att handla på Netto och vara fixerad av jämförspriser, fenomenet att sukta efter lyxvaror som ost och sojakorv. Likaså jämrade vi oss över att vi inte kunde framstå som särskilt vuxna inför våra föräldrar. Man är 26 år men har skakig studentikos ekonomi, verkar trampa vatten och har osäkra framtidsplaner. Man genererar aldrig pengar utan lånar bara dem (av CSN, föräldrar, syskon, vänner, banker). (Det är inte kul, men samtidigt är situationen självvald; något som den inte är för fattiga människor) På kvällen drack jag öl med en kompis och blev spilla-ut-sitt-glas-golvad: resultatet av ingen alkohol på länge + ihållande solsken och värme + slarvig kosthållning antar jag.

Jag har redan övergett mina studieplaner. Åker till Norra Älvstranden och andas lite havsluft och fikar med mamma istället..

Studiemedel! Studiemedel! Studiemedel!

2008-06-05T13:57:00.004+02:00

Official Cheer börjar att läsa Humanekologi: "Från naturresurser till global konsumtion" på måndag. Detta så att hon kan få studiemedel när hon skriver sin uppsats. Hon kommer att studera denna kurs med hjälp av mantrat "another day another CSN -dollar".

You gotta spend money to make money

2008-06-05T10:07:00.003+02:00

Fick tag i min schemaläggare i morse. Hon lät väldigt spänd på rösten när hon meddelade att "det såg väldigt bra ut i sommar" och "alla sommarpass har gått till dom som jobbat mycket". Hint hint. Hon syftar på att jag har haft mage att tacka nej till pass under terminen som gått - därför har nu tåget till sommarjobbslandet avgått utan OC ombord.

Jag känner mig arg trött dåraktig ilsken allergisk. Hade det på känn när schemaläggaren slutade ringa när som helst på dygnet för att fråga om jag ville jobba. Trots att de sa att det var "herregud helt OK" att tacka nej till pass - jag sade nej för många gånger, så enkelt är det.

( .. och nu känner jag bara för att gapa '0h yeah is that the best you can do?')

Det blir en nudelsommar, som L sade imorse. Jag har just skrivit ett lismande mail till studievägledaren på institutionen för Globala studier, självklart undrandes om det finns några lediga platser kvar på deras ack så flummiga kurser. Nästa väderkvarn: CSN.

Take care y'all

No such luck

2008-06-04T15:16:00.004+02:00

Idag skulle jag ha hållit ett föredrag om föredragandets konst, om retorik och konsten att övertyga. Offren var en grupp ungdomar på en ungdomsgård i Mölndal. Det hela blev dessvärre inställt (ska göra det senare i juni) och därför är jag nu lite direktionslös. Mest är jag förbannad och sur eftersom jag inte kan få tag i min (enligt mig) maktfullkomliga och småaktiga schemaläggare på mitt jobb. I över en vecka har jag mailat och ringt, mailat och ringt. Och fått inget till svar! Och det känns ju tryggt.
Det är varmt ute, stan är belamrad av fulla studenter och jag är lite för uppklädd.

Unbutton

2008-06-03T21:25:00.001+02:00

Vid närmare eftertanke framstod mitt förra inlägg som både antiklimaktiskt och fjuttigt. Herregud min närmaste omgivning vet att jag har sett fram emot och planerat för detta framträdande i flera månader, jag har köpt dräkt och ägnat mig åt omständliga provningar och om-sy-ningar (om det finns ett sådant begrepp) i flera veckors tid. Jag har köpt smink (lite girly- varning där) och solat strategiska kroppsdelar, har övat på dansen både hemma och inför min dansklass. Jag har, kort sagt, satsat på detta. Och min poäng med denna harang, och mitt klagomål på förra inlägget, är att resultatet av allt detta slit blev inte så bombastiskt som jag trodde. Det är oftast så, att förväntan inför något är bättre än detta något. Jag hade mentalt förberett mig på att stå på scen så länge så att när jag faktiskt stod där kändes det ordinärt, OK, naturligt, inget-att-hetsa-upp-sig-för-vanligt. (But don’t get me wrong, efteråt frågade jag L ca hundra gånger hur jag såg ut, om dansen var bra, hur jag rörde armarna) Nästa gång måste jag välja en svårare låt, eller uppträda inför en icke-införstådd, skeptisk publik. Ett uppträdande utan min mamma bland åskådarna alltså (då får vi se hur lugn och självsäker jag är!).

Åh jag önskar att ni alla hade varit med i söndags! Åh jag önskar att ni alla såg min danslärare D förtrolla och förtjusa, underhålla och överraska. Hon är en sådan entertainer! Hon är så duktig! Hon ger åskådarna gåshud med sin dans. Hon är min idol och absoluta föredöme. Hon lever på cigg, kaffe och kexchoklad, har ett vasst humör och en air av överjordiskhet. Jag har henne att tacka att jag nu lite blaserat och sanningsenligt kan nämna att jag har uppträtt med ett magdanssolo.

Hepp!

2008-06-02T10:49:00.002+02:00

Sådärja då var mitt första soloframträdande i magdans överstökat! Jag önskar att jag hade varit mer nervös innan för då hade det varit en större lättnad/eufori efteråt. Som det var nu så var jag inte särskilt nervös, och kände efteråt att jag ville dansa mera, anstränga mig mera.. Det var värre att genrepa än att uppträda framför 300 pers, precis som det förutsades. Jag har absolut inget minne av hur jag dansade igår, hjärnan är helt svart. Men jag fick komplimanger efteråt så jag gjorde nog inte bort mig. Det hela filmades så det är först när jag får se dansen på film som jag vet om jag är nöjd är eller inte.
Det känns tråkigt att det är över; nu går allt tillbaka till att handla om uppsatsskrivning och sommarjobb? Nä, våga vägra vardag. Official Cheer ska ägna sig åt något hon hade glömt: dricka folköl! Billigt OCH mysigt.

"I'm so gay I shit rainbows"

2008-05-30T10:00:00.002+02:00

Rubriken på dagens inlägg läste jag på en T-shirt som bars av en medelålders man, när jag var på väg till skolan. Det fick mig att le stort och bortse från min huvudvärk och rinnande näsa.

I eftermiddag kommer moster och hennes man från London på besök! Det ska bli kul. Jag övar redan på vad jag ska svara på frågan "why are you still in school?" "what are your plans for after you have your degree?"

Min näsa rinner så mycket att jag inte kan titta ner över tangentbordet. Måste gå.

Musik II

2008-05-27T10:13:00.002+02:00

Blogginlägget om att jag skulle skriva min uppsats som jag dansade blev extra speciell efter danslektionen igår. Jag hörde för första gången en av Oum Kaltoums mest kända låtar Enta Omri (Du är mitt liv) och blev så tagen att jag nästan började gråta. En sådan vacker, ödesmättad sång! Att jämföra en C/D-uppsats med sådan skönhet är löjeväckande! Här har ni en bit av låten på youtube, strunt i den lite taskiga kvaliteten och låt musiken förtrolla.. Oum Kaltoum kräver för övrigt lite vana att lyssna på, så jag rekommenderar er att lyssna på sången ca trettio gånger.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGnsnKRBGKo&NR=1

I eftermiddag är det lektion i arabiska. Min klass tror redan jag är galen så det gör inget om jag går runt och lidelsefullt nynnar Eennntaaa Oomrrriiii..

18 juni

2008-05-26T15:10:00.002+02:00

För ett tag sedan bestämde jag mig för att denna blogg endast skulle se dagsljus under ett års tid. Jag kollade just upp när jag påbörjade detta narcissistiska (det ordet skrivs alltid skitlångsamt) företag och det var, som rubriken antyder, den artonde juni. Drygt tre veckor kvar alltså: hoppas jag hinner krysta fram något riktigt tänkvärt tills dess.

Musik

2008-05-26T14:57:00.004+02:00

Har bestämt mig för att behandla uppsatsskrivandet som ett dansuppträdande. De vetenskapliga och institutionella regler som man måste förhålla sig till och som tjänar som bedömningsgrund väljer jag att se som rytmer och takter i musiken; de finns där och man måste röra sig i takt till dem men hur man ska tolka dem är upp till en själv. Det finns några få uppenbara fel som kan göras men resten är egentligen frågor om hur man ska tolka sitt material/sin musik. Och en tolkning är sällan fel, den är bara mer eller mindre rimlig. Och som ni alla vet så är jag en dansös som kör på charm, med en egen stil och en vilja att (synas! bekräftas!) underhålla. Och jag dansar ju bra, mina tolkningar går hem hos publiken. Lite av detta självförtroende måste flyttas över till det akademiska innan detta börjar kännas alltför mycket som när Bambis mamma dör om och om och om och om igen. Walla!

Genialt

2008-05-26T10:23:00.002+02:00

Jag måste säga att det var genialt av E och mig att titta på röstningsdelen av ESC med ljudet avstängt. Vi hade vårt eget soundtrack till det hela: Doing the Omoralisk Schlagerfestival med Sillstryparn! Gott med våfflor var det också.

Kitsch

2008-05-24T11:23:00.003+02:00

Om tre timmar är det genrep med magdansen inför nästa veckas uppträdande. Jag tror jag fasar mer för repetitionen än för själva showen; idag blir jag beskådad och bedömd av andra dansöser i vackrare dräkter än jag själv. Nästa vecka så är det ”bara” tre hundra vänner, släktingar och annat löst folk som skall se mig uppträda och vad vet de om hur magdans skall se ut? Precis innan ett uppträdande, de där svindlande sekunderna då magen sjunker som en sten ner i kroppen och huvudet flyter iväg medan lungorna skriker efter syre; precis då är jag som lugnast. Då infinner sig en känsla av Inshallah, går-det-så-går-det: en otroligt befriande känsla kan jag säga er! Men som sagt, idag är jag nervös, idag bannar jag mig själv för bristande disciplin, sackande kondition och en allt fetare röv. Att jag inte övar mera! Tror jag att jag kan dansa inför folk på ren vilja eller, att kondition och koordination, balans och styrka är något som endast andra behöver?
… Ja faktiskt. Jag kör på charm. Jag gillar att stå på scen, och enligt min danslärare räcker det långt. Jag bjuder på mig själv och har kul. Jag är en entertainer, om än med en gropig rumpa och dålig kondis.

Belöningen för dagens nervpirrande ansträngningar blir att titta på Eurovision Song Contest ikväll hemma hos E! På menyn står sushi/thaimat (vi kan inte bestämma oss), våfflor med sylt och grädde, godis och tjejdrinkar. Om det låter som ett konvent för anonyma bulimiker så är det kanske ..delvis sant? E och jag spenderar sanslöst mycket tid på att diskutera hur mycket vi avskyr ideal och begränsade brudar, dåliga förhållanden och alla andra källor till dåligt självförtroende. Därefter, utan att blinka, diskuterar vi ivrigt motion (åh den som vore mer fit) och nyttig matlagning (åh… smalare), pratar om tendenser till längtan efter barn och efter förälskelse. Ämnesmässig bulimi låter det som: hela tillvaron cirkulerar runt en besatthet som man därefter vräker i sig? Hur kom jag in på det här egentligen? Jo, ESC. Det ska bli kul att kritisera röster, dansnummer och utstyrslar: jag får ignorera att om en vecka är det jag som står på scen i en genommärklig tacky dräkt till främmande musik… Hej på er.